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There Are Times When We Are Not
Open to Reason
By Susan Dunn, MA Psychology, The EQ Coach
The reptilian brain takes over
sometimes; it's there to keep us alive, and it's instinctual
messages are strong. The limbic brain can also "flood" us with
emotions. Have you used the phrase, "talk til you're blue in the
face"? These are some of the times when our neocortex (thinking
brain) shuts down and we "can't be reasoned with." Unless we know
some EQ, that is.
1. A mother whose child has
died.
Her heart is not in her body
and her mind is trying to make sense out of something
incomprehensible.
2. A man who finds his wife
in bed with another woman.
I'm not up on the law but at
different
times in different states it's been
defensible by "temporary insanity" if
he kills him, her, or both of them.
3. A new father (or a
seasoned father).
Male protective hormones are
high. Tread lightly -- in all areas but especially around his
home and family. One of the Russian tsars held up the top of a
collapsing railroad car to keep it from killing his wife and
children (and later died of internal injuries).
4. A woman in
love.
Dopamine and serotonin are
surging and nothing matters.
5. Someone in the path of a
train.
To save our lives, our
reptilian brain puts us into
"fight or flight" so we'll TAKE ACTION, not THINK.
6. An infant.
Our brains aren't fully
developed until late adolescence and there is not, as yet, the
ability to speak and reason or even self-regulate.
7. An addict who's actively
abusing.
Addiction is believed to reside
in the reptilian brain, and, to quote Dr. Vaillant, national
expert on addiction,
"Alligators don't come when
called." Studies show willpower is not a prognostic indicator of
recovery.
To read more on EQ & Addiction, go here.
8. When someone has a gun to
your head.
Fear is also reptilian. It
causes us to freeze, fight or flee.
9. When it's 100 degrees
outside and the air conditioner is broken.
Extremely uncomfortable
physiological states also "hijack" us, including pain and lack of
sleep. That's why the 12-Steppers say "don't get too tired, too
lonely, too hot, too hungry..."
10. When you're in a
stressful change, loss or adversity and have low
resilience.
Resilience, a prime emotional
intelligence competency, is proactive. Handling stress is like
treading water in a strong current. Resilience means making it to
the shore and climbing out. If you haven't developed your
resilience, you're likely to use emotion-based problem-solving
(perhaps an oxymoron) rather than solution-based problem-solving.
You act without "thinking it through."
About the Author:
(c)Susan Dunn, MA Psychology, The EQ Coach,
http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching for individuals,executives and businesses.
Improve your EQ, improve your life. The EQ Foundation Course, The
EQ Learning Lab, and The EQ eBook Library - http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html
Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZine.
